What to Expect
Your decision to marry is probably the most far reaching decision you are ever likely to make. A few hours, therefore, to look at your hopes and expectations for the future together can be worthwhile. Pre-marriage courses are attended by thousands of intending couples each year. These sessions are usually lively and informative. Most courses will differ in structure, in emphasis, in their methods and agenda. All courses share in common the practical considerations which help to bring the abstract word `marriage' into clearer focus in the real and everyday world. It can also be a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of wedding-day preparations.
The C.M.C.C.
CMCC stands for the 'Cork Marriage Counselling Centre', which is a state and church sponsored service to marriage and family life. CMCC Pre-marriage courses are staffed for the most part by married people who are trained marriage counsellors. They come from every background and every walk of life. What they share in common is that they themselves are married, are carefully trained in pre-marriage counselling, and hold a deep-seated belief in the value and commitment of the marriage vows. They have vast experience, both personal and professional, of marriage. Apart from that, you will find that they are as normal, odd or interesting a group as you are likely to meet anywhere.
Every Pre-Marriage course includes one priest, who may visit on the last day. In fact most couples are pleasantly surprised to find that they actually begin to enjoy themselves in the company of others who are also preparing for marriage. "I never expected it to be like this" is a common reaction expressed and it is not at all unusual for new friendships to develop and for couples to be genuinely sad when the course ends.
C.M.C.C. Courses.
Each couple needs to be present for a total of about six hours. A typical course consists of two shorter private meetings with the counsellor, followed by two 2-hour sessions at the weekend. During these sessions, couples working together in small groups or in pairs are guided by marriage counsellors, who consider various aspects of marriage, such as;
- How you communicate as a couple.
- Managing finance and home.
- Nourishing a relationship.
- Handling conflict in a positive way
- Intimacy, sexuality and reproduction
- Spirituality and the sacrament of marriage.
Participation.
"Will I have to say something?" you may ask. Well, not if you don't want to! But you are invited to ask questions, make comments, and generally see it as your course. The sessions are informal - a mixture of group work, couples working on their own, couples meeting with a counsellor, and short talks given by the team.
Counsellors will not talk at you or try to change you but will instead, share their experience of marriage with you in a helpful way and by drawing attention to some common pitfalls. Your chances of building a happy and successful relationship will be enhanced.
You may be shy, or you may fear the invasion of your privacy together. Don't worry - experienced counsellors are sensitive to your needs and to your privacy, and you will not be asked to contribute any more than you wish to. What you gain from a course is entirely up to yourselves, how willing you are to listen, criticise, contribute, accept or reject, and how willing you are to learn, to question and to change.
Postscript
Pre-marriage courses are run also by N.A.O.M.I. of Washington St. Cork, Tel. 021-4272213 and Engaged Encounter, Tel. 021-4968635.
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