All eyes are on the bride - and that's the way it should be but you - the mum of the bride or groom, must fit into the picture - literally speaking. Too often the bride goes to all the trouble of colour co-ordinating her dress with bridesmaids and flower girls in style, texture and line, as well as in colour. She chooses (or suggests) the correct colour morning suits or tux for the formal men, including the dads, and then like an afterthought mother arrives in a look that suits her very well but does not blend or fuse with the theme of the events. . .

For the purpose of photos and video both mums should get together with the bride well in advance of the day and talk through the options. Colour is the first thing to look at - make sure that in the big picture that mother is not going to be the first one seen. Choose a softer colour than the bridesmaids and avoid print as much as possible. Prints are always more visible than plain, and as most wedding gowns are in white, ivory, or cream - a print will be seen first.

Mother does not have to take on the line of the gowns. She should choose a shape that flatters her figure and that guarantees comfort as the day goes on. When shopping for the outfit bring a piece of the bridesmaids fabric with you for colour. In most stores and boutiques these days there is at least one member of staff trained in colour co-ordination. Seek advice - don't just wander around and get yourself confused with the choices. In advance, I always feel it is a good idea to lay out a shopping plan - which shops you are going to visit and in what order. Take the sting out of wandering about town all day. Choose which shops carry your look, your size and your price range. You should come up with about 6 -8 max.

There is no sense in finding the perfect outfit which is outside your budget, so plan first and take the pain out of what should be a very important and enjoyable days shopping. Once the garment is chosen, fits well, guarantees comfort for 12 hours wearing and looks as good once the jacket has been removed, then its time for accessories. These can make or break an outfit. Do not choose when you are tired at the end of the day - give yourself a fresh start.

Choosing shoes either first thing in the morning or late in the day is a bad idea. As the day goes on your feet sweat from heat so leave the shoes until early afternoon, then have them fitted by a professional. A good shoe and bag can make an outfit. Look is important, but so is comfort. You want to dance and enjoy yourself in these shoes so perfect fit is all important. A matching bag is readily available in most good ranges. For jewellery go for simplicity. Solid gold or silver is never a miss and always adds an extra look to an outfit. So avoid large fashion pieces that these days can cost you nearly as much as the real thing.

Choosing Your Hat
The hat must be the right shape hat for your face, your hair style and your outfit. This is a tall order, but is achievable. I always recommend a visit to a good hat hire company, where choice is not a problem. Spring/Summer, March to September should be light straw fabrics. Felts and fabrics should be kept for Autumn/Winter, October to February season. A hat that fits properly always touches your face at some point, not sitting barely balanced at the back of the crown. Most good hat hire companies will order you in a hat in your colouring if there is not one already in stock. You could pay anything from £20 - £200 for a hat to purchase and think how often will you wear it, whereas the very same hat could be available for rent from £10 - £25. This is a very important day and of course you all want to look at your best but keep a keen eye to the cost of the whole look. Ask yourself will I get wear out of this outfit again? Does it matter if I don't? Is this one of those `splash outs' where you do not count the cost of outfits? Have I other outfits that will work with the shoes and bag? Remember this should be fun! A great day when your offspring are making a new life of their own. A very proud day for you and your family. A great celebration of the unity of two people and two families. A time for you to be seen for who you are - the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom. Make the whole experience as enjoyable as possible. Start the feeling of positively and excitement. Plan a little in advance and enjoy every minute. Savour every moment. Dressing is always meant to be an expression of who we are and our true personalities, so tune into your far side and happy mother shopping.